I just bawled my eyes out remembering this and I'm not even sure how or why it started playing, but I literally Said to someone this week, I know that nobody would really notice or ask about me if I were gone tomorrow...
(This is a video from the very beginning of my time on YT and when I did what was guided whenever had a moment. It's 10min long, the experience has happened to me in various degrees with others as well..)
Then to hear this kind of feels like spirit is saying hey dumb ass remember this...
I said I knew a few would definitely be aware, but that most never even bat an eye.
However after watching this and being reminded of how that day went, and the days leading up to it, and just everything now and what I've been feeling, and what I've been pushed to do. It's all connected and I guess this is why part of me wants to save my Bridget Rau channel.
It Started out with pure love and support and hope.
The beginning of my time online was life changing because of the people I connected with.
I feel so grateful for all that has come about and very much appreciate all the Many souls who have supported me near and far.
I know I allowed the channel to go far from what I want it to be and that's my own fault.
It was also influenced by my own obsessive and intrusive thoughts and feelings about one person.
I allowed the love I have for someone to turn me into someone I am not, and allowed my life to be constantly consumed with ridiculous behavior and upset.
Over the last 22 years I've loved that person and cared deeply, and I don't know what it was or why 4 years ago my entire journey got so wrapped up in that part of me.
I don't know why all my time and energy got intertwine in the pursuit of Union. I know that there is definitely major lessons I learned, growth I've had, and there is meaning in it all, but I also know I am meant to do so much more with my guides, my teachings, and time here.
I apologize to anyone who I may have guided deeper into unhealthy ways of being when it comes to your connections. Simply popping out Pick A Cards and What He Feels Readings day after day. I know for myself I was heavily addicted at one time and if I was not recording I was listening to one for awhile. So if my constant production ever aided your own obsessive reading binging I'm sorry.
It was and is always my intention to help people, and inspire them to help themselves.
I'm also sorry if you are heart broken, alone and upset about your connection. I know how difficult it is, and how painful it can be when we love and desire something we can't have.
I know that readings and hearing the messages can help you ease the suffering and calm the anxiety, but I also know that it's easy to hear what we want and ignore things that we shouldn't. That listening to readings and doing soul work is 2 very different things.
Without the work you might as well prepare for a life of the same things playing out again and again .
Also we sometimes will have to face the unpopular or unwanted truth of things too.
When I woke up and went through my stage of finding answers it was still very much a hidden or less traveled road. Only small amounts of the videos had people in them talking to you back then. Most were photos with words on a screen or robot voice reading information to you.
Nobody talked about twin Flames and so the little bits of info were not so distorted, and tainted in lies and the bullshit you find now.
There are people out there who lie to help their agenda, or to fill their pockets, some who lie to you, because they are lying to themselves, and want to believe what they say.
Then there's those lying but only because someone lied to them and they think it's true. I don't know the entire real 100% truth of all things, but I will never flat out lie and I say idk when I'm unsure.
I do my best to share without limitations imposed on people, and I try so hard to deliver things that help and can be used to heal and grow. The @Divine Essentials Channel began because I was feeling like I needed to do more sharing of the healing aspect of things. Teachings that matter and support to those looking for it. I've been someone on the front line so to speak for a long time now, in regards to the starseeds, and if you are one you know what I mean.
If you are not it's basically a mission in itself, to be here on the planet, to keep going every day, to keep information coming to the ones who don't listen to it for themselves, or can't connect to it themselves. I know I have a role and responsibility to fulfill.
It's not a job where I need to be somewhere 9 to 5 or anything traditional or mundane in the least.
It's mystical and magical, it's life changing and so amazing. I think I need to get back into the way of being where it was most important to just deliver and do as guided with love.
I literally am in a constant motion of synchronicity and Divine guidance, my day is mind blowing to me every day, but it is not exactly easy to explain it or share it in one little video, or article.
Some things can't be shown cause it will be a thought of mine that seconds later gets answered by the thing popping up in my feed on social media. I have it happen big and small, short term and long term. I am always in constant connection to my guides and I am always doing something they inspired. Hearing little messages that are impact full and inspiring or giving direction in the moment.
Sometimes I just start to say something and they take over and what gets said is a mind expanded experience for myself and whoever heard it.
There is a true and incredible thing going on in my life that has so much amazing power and potential to help people.
Maybe that's why things have felt so intense and wrong lately, because I've not been using my connections in the most beneficial way.
Worrying so much about the presentation, or the billion and one things should of or could of done.
As for the message of people noticing or not noticing, I think a big reason around my perspective currently of not many would care is a result of people pleasing and delivering things that are not truly aligned.
I attracted a lot of attention and views the last few years. Right now 44k people subscribe to BR channel, yet I felt more supported and loved, more gratitude and genuine curiosity and respect when recording the attached vid for under 1k.
Only 300 watched in the years it's been up, but it's real, it's true, and it's what I came to do.
Now I have such a disconnect from the channel because there's so many people who I am disposable to. A button they pushed once and will push to leave without a second thought.
I have allowed myself to just get sucked into a place I am not meant to stay within.
I know everything has a purpose and reason for happening and I am sure I grew and changed and healed over the time here however the push and focus on supporting people with soul coaching and mentoring is definitely where I am meant to go and should have been already.
I just wanted to apologize for allowing myself to be derailed so far for so long, not just to all out there but to myself and my guides as well.
I am still DF and I will still do Twin things and offer support to the DF who needs and wants to do the deeper work but with more mindful and awareness surrounding the topic, and there will be balance in my life.
As should be so in all of our lives.
I am having a huge amount of work for myself in regards to losing people in this world. This story here is only one that has the details like this. Where the loss is so deeply felt and the days prior to it have moments that make it even worse for me to process it.
I've been trying to figure out why these experiences keep happening with those who I love and how to make them stop.
My mom My sister My ex My first protege The man in the video
All of them have a similar experience or strange details like the bathtub in the video.. or the fact we were supposed to talk and connect.
The Ex who told me this would happen without me there and it did shortly after.
My mom's last words she said were exact opposite of what started the day telling me. The hospital called and said she was telling them wants to go, I got there and she agreed and said yes want to end suffering. Then the last thing said is "I don't want to die". It haunts me so much.
First protege to learn all I had to teach, Ariella, missed her call out of having been nervous to reconnect after she had stopped talking when I said BF was not good for her. She came back when my words were proven true to her and Apoloized. She then wanted to reconnect as we had been in past but I kept my walls up, ignored calls from her one night & just days later hear she died.
Actually she even text me that night to tell me my Twin accepted her request to be friends on social media, months earlier she sent one cause was going to tell him something idk the exact details now but I knew that he would not accept it at the time so wasn't concerned. The fact he accepted her after all that time and then she passed is yet another weird connection and experience.
Sister was supposed to get together with and had already put it off once due to exhaustion and needed rest. The weekend prior we all at family gathering and I must have been struggling with Lyme or something I slept in uncles living room and only saw her briefly, and said needed to reschedule our day, but we didn't do it that day, and so never got to reschedule.
The experience with Derek was so chilling and hard to hear and accept, and I just don't fully understand why I keep having these experiences.
Part of me thinks it's something about not letting chances pass us by and I also think this one coming back up tonight is to tell me I'm wrong about the nobody would care thing.
The reason that came up at all was because when I am working behind the scenes and not posting regularly or recording things I have a weird feeling like it feels I've not accomplished as much even if I've done a shit load of stuff working morning to night, because nobody sees it it can feel like it doesn't count as much, and believe me I am aware that is Not true and that nobody is out there looking to me for proof of my work that day, but even that may be some of it.
There is no boss, no person above me to say good job. There is no clients or anyone receiving once I finish the work. So it's just a different experience and vibe.
Anyway hopefully sharing this helps someone, as it has myself, and thank you for reading if you did.
I appreciate you and I am working hard on the internal processing and my own soul work.
I have so much that all came at once, a course with a woman I found, a course my new Protege gifted me while I was looking specifically at shamanic type of online classes there were.. I got an email from my protege saying thank you for all the info and resources I've given to her and a link to the shamanic course she purchased for me!
Then I found one that I am so so so excited to do its basically the girls version of munay ki and I am incredibly happy to find it, and will be sharing these new sacred rites when I am done.
They also connect to 7 sisters of Pleiades, and the woman has included some of the work I had spirit give me with koto Kuna karpay, and I'll be adding to my Mesa (portable altar) which I plan to offer help for the building of one to others as well.
A despacho ceremony keeps coming up in my synchronicity too so one of those may be on my website as a Free program soon. I think my Protege is writing a blog about one as well. But a how to video is also fun and good for me to perform one.
I have been gifted several books for healing, and my newest Pleiadian Book I purchased is another mind blown synchronicity filled experience. Which I know things in there will help others too ♡
So much to do and build and share release and love ♡
In Munay Namaste Bridget